Gratitude is a divine principle.

This Sunday, Mike and I got to speak about Gratitude in Sacrament Meeting. I thought I would post my talk for you to read - as it is very applicable to all of us with the upcoming Thanksgiving Holiday.

I want to start out my talk this morning with a story told my Joseph B. Wirthlin in an Ensign a few years ago:

A long time ago in a faraway village lived a man who everyone did their very best to avoid. He was the type of person who believed that there was only one competent person in the world, and that one person was himself. Consequently, he was never satisfied with anything. His shoes never fit right. His shirt never felt comfortable. When his food wasn’t too cold, it was too salty, and when it wasn’t too hot, it was too bland.

If a field wasn’t sowed by himself, it was not sowed well. If he didn’t close the door, the door was not closed properly. In short he made a career of frowning, lecturing, criticizing, and mumbling about the incompetencies of every other person in the rest of the world.

Unfortunately, the man was married, which made matters all the worse. Not matter what his wife did, in his eyes it was wrong. No matter what the unfortunate woman cooked, sewed or cleaned—or even when she milked the cow—it was never satisfactory, and he let her know it.

She tried very hard to be a good wife, but it seemed the harder she tried the less she pleased him. Finally, one evening she could take no more.

“I’ll tell you what we’ll do,” she told him. “Tomorrow I will do your chores and you will do mine.”

“But you can’t do my chores,” the man replied. “You don’t know the first thing about sowing, hoeing and irrigating.”

But the woman was adamant. And on top of that, she was filled with righteous anger that frankly astonished and frightened the man to the point where he didn’t date disagree.

So the next morning the wife went off to the fields and the man began the domestic chores. After thinking about it, he actually convinced himself he was looking forward to it. Once and for all, he would demonstrate to his wife how things should be done.

Unfortunately, not everything went according to plan. In fact, nearly everything the man touched turned into disaster. He spilled the milk, let the pig get into the house, lost the cow, burned the dinner, and ultimately set the house on fire, narrowly escaping with his own life.

When his wife returned, she discovered her husband sitting on a pile of ashes, smoke still rising from his clothes. But the woman wasn’t the type to rub things in. She helped him up, wiped the soot from his beard, fixed him a little something to eat, and then prepared a bed of straw for them to sleep on.

From that day forward, the man never complained about anyone or anything else for as long as he lived.

What do we supposed the story teaches us? Elder Wirthlin goes on to explain that for one thing, it teaches that those who complain make their own and others’ lives miserable. The story also teaches humility. In addition, the story illustrates a quality that the Roman orator Cicero claimed was “not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others.” It is a quality I have found in every happy person I know. It is a quality that makes a person more likeable and more at peace. Where this is an abundance of this virtue, there is happiness. Where there is absence of this virtue, there is often sadness, resentment, and futility.

The virtue I am speaking of is gratitude. It was the absence of gratitude that made the man in the story so miserable.

When you think of someone you know who is truly happy. Do they live in Thanksgiving daily? It’s almost impossible to image a person who is miserable and resentful and mean – yet grateful. The two cannot thrive together.

In story we all know from Luke 17, Christ teaches us to be grateful.

Luke 17: 11-19

11. And it came to pass, as he went to Jerusalem,that he passed through the midst of Samaria and Galilee.

12. And as he entered into a certain village, there met him ten men that were ^alepers, which stood afar off:

13. And they lifted up their voices, and said, Jesus, Master, have mercy on us.

14. And when he saw them, he said unto them, Go shew yourselves unto the ^apriests. And it came to pass, that, as they went, they were cleansed.

15. And one of them, when he saw that he was healed, turned back, and with a loud voice glorified God,

16. And fell down on his face at his feet, giving him ^athanks: and he was a Samaritan.

17. And Jesus answering said, Were there not ten ^acleansed? but where are the ^bnine?

18. There are not found that returned to give glory to God, save this stranger.

19. And he said unto him, Arise, go thy way: thy faith hath made thee whole.

Elder David B. Haight said of the story of the ten lepers, “How would you like to be a part of the “nine society”? Wouldn’t that be something—to be numbered among those who failed to return and acknowledge the Savior for the blessings He had given them? Only one returned. It’s so easy in life for us to receive blessings, many of them almost uncounted, and have things happen in our lives that can help change our lives, improve our lives, and bring the Spirit into our lives. But we sometimes take them for granted. How grateful we should be for the blessings that the gospel of Jesus Christ brings into our hearts and souls.”

The story simply teaches us to glorify god in all things. Personally, I think it is easier to glorify god for the big things. Last winter I had a very scary experience that included me losing the vision in my right eye. For me, personally, when I had found a wonderful doctor and gotten to the root of the problem, and was healed, it was easy for me to recognize the hand of the lord in that miracle. It was easy for me to give thanks for that experience and trial and the way it brought me closer to the Lord and to my husband and family. Personally – I have an easy time thanking the lord for the obvious. What is hard for me to do is giving thanks for the lord every day for the big and small things – for all things. These are the little things that are easy to take for granted.

Unfortunately for me, D&C 59:7 says Thou Shalt Thank the Lord in ALL things, not just thou shalt thank the lord for the big and obvious things. This is not so easy to do when we live in such a privileged world. I think back to my experiences as a young woman going with my family to pick up my brother from his mission in Haiti. How that experience changed my life. Here I was, surrounded by people who had nothing who were just so grateful to have the gospel and a little something to eat that day. To have a job that paid $4 a week and to have each other. They were grateful for everything. It was a learning experience for me to be around those people and see how my big tease of a brother had changed while on his mission. He had become one of them. Grateful for all the big and small things – like clean water to drink and food to eat.

I am ashamed to say that it is easy for me to take my blessings for granted. I was born into the gospel and didn’t have to go seeking for it. I haven’t had a day where I went hungry. I’ve had a good job since I was 16 years old. I found a wonderful man to marry who is perfect for me and teaches me to be a better person. Together, we’ve been able to get educations and discover fun places and people. We live in a country that takes care of us. Thinking about my life and thinking about the lives of the Haitian people I feel so spoiled. Am I thankful for everything – everyday?

In The Miracle of Forgiveness, it says that Ingratitude is a distressing sin which kindles the Lord’s anger. (See D&C 59:21.) It is often manifest in “disobedience to parents,” which Paul condemns. Many young people demand and receive much from parents and then show little or no gratitude, as though the parents owed it to them without any consideration or appreciation on their part. There must have been children in Paul’s day who thanklessly took for granted their many blessings and opportunities, for he continued to warn the saints at Rome and others against this weakness.

When the Savior healed the ten lepers and only one thanked him, he pointed out the nine ingrates as a lesson to all when he said, “Where there not ten cleansed?” (Luke 17:17.) Adults as well as youth are often guilty, being disobedient and unthankful to their Heavenly Father who gives them all. Many fail to show their gratitude through service, through family prayers, through the payment of their tithes and in numerous and other ways God has a right to expect.

How can we show our gratitude? Elder Wirthlin has three suggestions for how we can live in thanksgiving everyday for everything.

1. We must open our eyes. Robert Lous Stevenson wrote, “The man who forgets to be thankful has fallen asleep in life.” Like I just talked about, our blessings are so abundant, sometimes we take them for granted. Because we have and see things so often, we see them less and less. It reminds me of some times driving home when I go on autopilot. I pull into the driveway and am not quite sure how I got there. I know the way so well that I stop at all the stop signs and make all the right turns but I don’t see or really pay attention to anything else on my way home. We need to open our eyes to really see the beauties of life that we are so used to. I think of the grass that Mike and I recently planted in our yard. Now that we have growing grass and are trying to make our grass healthy, I notice everyone’s grass – especially the really nice cushy grass. How many blessings could we notice if we really looked? I’m guessing we’d start to notice the blessings of good friends and beautiful flowers (and grass) that we’d never noticed before.
2. Open our hearts. Elder Wirthlin says that we must let go of the negative emotions that bind our hearts and instead fill our souls with faith, and thanksgiving. Anger, resentment and bitterness stunt our spiritual growth. Pray with an open heart. Consider the love your Heavenly Father has for all His children. Open your heart to His cleansing word. Cherish the messages of modern-day prophets and apostles. Forgive others who have offended you. Don’t waste another moment feeling self-pity. Every day drain your heart from the feelings of resentment, rage, and defeat that do nothing but discourage and destroy. Fill your heart with things that enable, encourage and inspire. Nephi himself said, “Rejoice, O my heart, and give place no more for the enemy of my soul.” Let us cleanse and open our hears to make room for thanksgiving. I think of some dear family friends that I grew up with. Their mom and cancer and it was an up and down rollercoaster struggle. Once again, she had found out that her cancer was in remission, at least temporarily. Instead of being nervous about the future, or being negative, or being so happy that they forgot their biggest blessing, her daughter suggested they have another family fast. This time, instead of asking that the lord heal their mother, they fasted in gratitude for the blessing they were given – for their mother’s life being extended just a little longer.
3. Elder Wirthlin’s third suggestion on how we can live in thanksgiving daily is Open our Arms. He suggested that one of the best ways we show our gratitude is by blessing the lives of those around us. When was the last time you told someone you love how much they mean to you? When was the last time you expressed your gratitude to someone who has always been there for you, someone who has sacrificed for you, someone whose heart has always been filled with hopes and dreams for you? When was the last time you unselfishly reached out to help another in need?

Gordon B. Hinckley said that gratitude is the beginning of civility, of decency and goodness, of a recognition that we cannot afford to be arrogant. We should walk with the knowledge that we will need help every step of the way.

…we ought to express our gratitude daily in countless ways—to each other, to our parents and other family members who have contributed so dramatically to our lives, to friends who have given us the benefit of the doubt again and again, to colleagues and associates who motivate and inspire us to reach higher and to do better to prudent leaders who serve selflessly, and, particularly, to a Higher Power from Whom all ultimate blessings and goodness flow.

How often do we take for granted our children and our spouses? When was the last time we thanked a spouse or child for something they have done? We may overlook the importance of making a bed or putting dishes away. I have an older sister who was trying to figure out how to teach her 1 ½ year-old how to be thankful. His whole life (which is not very long) she has tried to show him, by example, how to be grateful. Anytime he does anything she thanks him. If he hands her a piece of garbage he found on the ground – she thanks him. If he gives her a love- she thanks him. When he hands her something the he has found and destroyed – she thanks him. Through this exercise, Alex, at a very young age, has learned to be grateful. He now says thank you when he gets a treat or she finds him a toy. What’s interesting is that he didn’t learn to say thank you by being TOLD to say thank you. He was never told to say thank you – he simply learned from watching his mother. What a great example of how to show our children how to be grateful – by being grateful to them.

President Hinckley went on to explain that gratitude is a sign of maturity. It’s an indication of sincere humility. It’s a hallmark of civility. And most of all, it is a divine principle. I doubt there is anything in which we more offend the Almighty than in our tendency to forget his mercies and to be ungrateful for that which He has given. Where there is appreciation, there is also courtesy and concern for the rights and property of others. Without this there is arrogance and evil. Where there is gratitude, there is humility instead of price, generosity rather than selfishness.

Gratitude is of the very essence of worship—thanksgiving to the God of Heaven, who has given us all that we have that is good.

The Lord wants us to be grateful. It’s the most we can do to thank him for all that he has given us. We are asked to be grateful, even in our most difficult times. If we are struggling to be grateful, David O. McKay says we can increase our gratitude through prayers. So let us get down on our knees this Thanksgiving – and every day – and give a prayer of pure and sincere gratitude.

Might I suggest that we all make it a goal to truly celebrate Thanksgiving this week. Let’s use it as a gratitude wake-up call or a reboot. Let’s use this Thanksgiving as a fresh start for all of us to be grateful every day of the week. I know that if we do, we can draw closer to each other in our families and our neighborhood because through this exercise we will all draw closer to the lord.

Let’s live so that others can be grateful for us. Let’s reach out to one another. I feel so blessed to really be able to focus my week on gratitude and thanksgiving. I am ashamed to admit it, but I don’t think I’ve ever given so much thought to the topic during the Thanksgiving holiday. I always hear people that talk about how grateful they are to have the blessing of pulling together a talk, and I feel like I really have had that blessing this week. The preparation of this talk has helped me to re-focus my upcoming holiday. I hope it can help you refocus too.

1. I am thankful for this beautiful place where we live. I am thankful that I can look out of my office window and see the beautiful mountains. And then, after work, I am grateful that I can go into those mountains and explore their beauties. I love Utah and think it is one of the most beautiful places in the world. I am so grateful to be able to live here.
2. I am grateful for this new neighborhood and welcoming neighbors – everyone has been so welcoming to Mike and I. I think of Addy who lives down the street and always says hi and waves whenever I drive by. This is a wonderful neighborhood and I feel so blessed to be a part of it.
3. I am thankful for my family. For my parents and my siblings and Mike’s parents and Mike’s siblings. My family are my best friends. They are always there when I need them and offer wonderful advice whenever I need that. I am thankful for them. My parents never missed an opportunity to tell me how much they love me – and they still don’t. I am thankful that they raised me in the gospel and showed me how to be thankful for all things (which I’m still working on).
4. I am thankful for my marriage to Mike. I am thankful for his hard work ethic and his extreme patience with me. I am thankful for the times that we can work together side by side cleaning and landscaping. I am also thankful for the times we sit down together and read the scriptures. I am thankful that he holds the priesthood. That I can call on it when I need it.
5. I am thankful for the gospel and the influence it has on my life. For our temple marriage that allows us to be together forever.

Please, let us not be like the nine ungrateful lepers who receive such blessings and never pause to thank the Lord for all he has done for them. Let us recognize the big and small blessings we are given every day. If we do, I know we will find true happiness and joy.